Letting Life Happen

Lately it has not seemed that my life has had a lot of substance. It seems like I am just movig from one activity to another. I look back on my last several posts and although I have been busy doing lots of things, what am I really getting out of it all. Am I growing, am I moving, am I being used by God or am I just existing?

My biggest fear has always been that I am missing what God has for me. What if I did miss something, what if I was doing my own thing when He called me to do something? I've never been really good at listening to Him, I can admit that. I've never really taken all the time I should with Him, if any at all. How do I expect to be used if I can never really be sure if I'm listening?

I have been given the opportunity to give the message next sunday night at AE (our youth group) with Larry being gone. I want to share so many things on my heart but I am afraid of being a hypocrite. I don't do the things I know I should. I struggle with thing I should have overcome by now. How do I share my passions and desires if I can't even life up to them? How do I stand in front of everybody feeling like I'm not where God wants me? I'm not asking for answers or a pity party, I just wanted to share my thoughts.